People Dare Us To Comment On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

We might enjoy hearing about our endearing qualities all the time from other people, but if we learn that they genuinely hate us and think we're jerks behind our backs, we might wish we could go back in time and never ask them about it and never speak to them again. Some people, though, are curious about our honest perceptions of them after they've shared their stories. Tell us who you think is the real jerk as you read on. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

37. AITJ For Causing My Partner To Leave The Front Row At A Concert?

“My partner is a huge fan of this band, we saw them last year in the VIP section which was further away. This year he got pit tickets for us and we got there 2 hours early to make sure we had the best spot at the very front.

I was having a really good time with the first couple of bands but by the 3rd opener, the crowd was insane.

I was pushed up against the metal barrier and it was digging into my chest, and I literally could not move even though my partner was trying to create room for me it wasn’t working with the sheer number of people.

By the last group before the headliner, my ribs were hurting so badly.

I was pressed up against people way larger than me (I’m a 5’3” girl with a smaller build) and I could hardly breathe. I felt like I was being crushed and I fell twice and could hardly get back up due to people clambering around me to get my spot. It was literally all I could do to elbow my way clear and yell ‘I have to get out’ and I started hauling it out of the crowd before I passed out.

The EMS guys grabbed me and my partner and I had to go off to the side so that ems could check on me.

Once I was okay to go back in, we of course didn’t have our front-row pit position anymore. I could tell he was a little upset so I tried to make the best out of it, I got us an okay view and took a bunch of videos (he likes to keep concert videos so I thought we’d at least have a good memory) and I was dancing and trying to bring back the positive energy.

He stood there with his arms crossed for the remainder of the concert.

When we left he told me while he understood that my well-being was important, he was mad that I caused us to miss him being in front of his favorite band. I told him I was sorry but I had to do what I needed to not get trampled. We got into a huge argument on the way back to the hotel and we haven’t really exchanged words since.

I feel like a huge jerk for not being considerate of his big moment and I feel like I ruined the entire trip.

At the same time though we have plans to see them yearly so I suggested we get pit tickets and try again next year, but he said he probably wouldn’t have an opportunity like that again and even if he did he wouldn’t take me.

I feel awful.

Am I really the jerk?”


36. AITJ For Not Wanting To Pay For Half The Expenses For My Fiancée's Mother's Birthday Trip?

” “I (37, F) met my now fiancé (37, F) in 2020. At the time, she was living rent-free in her mother’s house and starting a career change.

2 months ago, she moved in with me and is now living rent-free in my house and in graduate school. She has only had a full-time job for 5 months total since I’ve known her. Needless to say, she has no funds in the bank and very little income on the horizon. It’s not that she doesn’t want to work – she has applied to hundreds of writing jobs but doesn’t have much experience required to land a job.

She did just start a writing internship that pays $300/month for the next 3 months. I make pretty good money and got a new & higher paying job 6 months ago so I could better financially support both of us.

Her brother (33) wants to plan a 10-14 day, all-expenses-paid overseas trip for their mother’s 70th birthday in May.

My fiancé has zero money to contribute to said trip. Assuming I went too, it is also assumed that I would be expected to cover all costs for myself, my fiancé, and half of her mother’s. I don’t want to do it, and my fiancé has no plan for coming up with the budget to fund the trip herself.

So the trip probably won’t happen.

It’s not that I don’t have the money, there are just other things I want to spend my money on next year. I want to go backpacking in Hawaii for my close friend’s birthday in April, I want to do a $55k home renovation project, and my own mother turns 70 next year too, and I’d like the option to do something for her (maybe she wants her own birthday trip).

If I don’t fund 50% of the trip, I doubt the trip will happen. It’s not that I don’t have the money, I just don’t want to spend my hard-earned money on my future mother-in-law’s birthday trip. AITJ?

EDIT to add: It’s not that she’s never had a job.

She was working full-time for years before 2020/deciding to make a career change.

And my paying for her life is enabling the idea that she doesn’t need a job at all. I realize that, and I do bring up the money conversation. Something’s gotta give, and it will, somehow.


35. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Room For My Stepsisters?

“My (16F) dad (36 M) married his wife ‘Becca’ (42 F) 2 years ago, she has 3 kids (14 F twins and 12 M) and I’ve known them for 5 years now and I don’t really get along with them apart from my stepbrother.

For some clarification, my mom is not in the picture anymore and neither is their dad.

My dad just received my grandparents’ house (granny passed away) and we’re planning to move there, it has the same amount of rooms (4), but it has a bigger yard, and a basement and my dad says we can get a pool in a few years.

I used to spend weekends at my grandparents and so, I already have a room there (my dad’s old room), my grandparents made some renovations so I could have my own bathroom and a bigger closet there, so when my dad said we were moving, he said I had to get rid of half of my furniture because I already have stuff there (I’ll admit, my room there is nicer than the one I have here because I was my grandparents only grandchild and they kept it ‘modern’), it was obvious that I was going to keep my room there.

Becca didn’t say anything that time because she didn’t know the room had a full bath and a walk-in closet yet.

They visited the house last week to start moving some stuff while my step-siblings and I were at school and at night, during dinner, Becca said that I would have to choose some other room because ‘the girls’ should get the one I use, both my dad and I were confused, and she said it was better and ‘the most practical thing’ since the twins were two and they needed a bigger closet and would be better for them to have their own bathroom.

I said sorry, but no, because my grandparents did all those modifications for me and that has been my room for as long as I could remember. The girls and she wanted to push the subject, but my dad didn’t let them and told my step-mom that they were gonna talk later.

I guess my dad shut the thought down because the twins have been sulking and my stepmom asked me to ‘give it a thought’ because it wasn’t fair for ‘my sisters’.

The twins straight out called me a jerk and my friend said I should give up the room because it’s true that the need the space more… so AITJ?

ETA: I’m not ‘moving out’ in 2 more years, this is not the US and people do not tend to move out after high school. Most of us attend college locally and is normal for people to live with their parents until their mid to late 20s.”


34. AITJ For Refusing To Lend My Drawing Materials To A Kid?

“I (17 F) go to an art school which is an hour away from where I live, that’s why I go there by train.

I have seen many weird people during train rides, but I’ve never seen a Karen before. So I was taking the train to go back home and I had some expensive drawing material and paper (yeah, good paper can be super expensive). I bought them from a store near the school I go to.

I had my headphones on because there was this kid who wouldn’t stop crying and it wasn’t an enjoyable thing to hear after a long day at school.

After ten minutes or so, the mother of the child walks up to me and starts a conversation about how much her 8 years old child loves drawing too. I just thought she was saying that because she saw me carrying all that drawing material and just wanted to have a conversation.

I did think it was kinda weird to start a conversation while your child is throwing a tantrum on the other side of the train.

She then got straight to the point, asking me to give my drawing material to her child so he could distract himself and stop crying.

I politely refused, explaining why I didn’t want to give my materials away (The main reasons were three: I didn’t know the mother or her child, these materials were expensive and I got them with my own money, and last reason: I needed them for school).

The mother got really mad and upset and kept trying to convince me and I kept refusing. I tried to remain as calm as possible and it wasn’t easy since I was already having an awful day.

The mother then tried to snatch the paper from me which ripped in half. In the calmest way possible, I asked her to pay for what she broke.

She said she wasn’t gonna pay for some paper and that this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been so selfish, then she just went back to her seat.

I still found a way to use the paper but it wasn’t what the teacher required, so I’ll have to go and buy more.

Some family members are calling me a jerk because I was being selfish and the lady just wanted something to entertain her kid with.

I don’t think I did something wrong because entertaining other people’s kids is not my responsibility. As I said, many family members are calling me a jerk. AITJ?”


33. AITJ For Not Considering My Cousin My Brother?

“I (25 f) have an older cousin (28 m). For most of my life, I didn’t know he existed as my father and aunt left India and never told us about our family there.

When I was 15 he appeared and my dad told us that this is his sister’s son and he has taken him in so will be expecting us to treat him as a brother. This was all of a sudden but I was willing to agree to it, even though it meant entirely changing my life and living style.

I did argue a bit because they expected me to share with my other cousin when we’re both autistic and need our own space but we resolved it.

Anyways, I’m now 25. A few weeks ago we were talking about parents and ethnicities. I said I’m Mexican-Indian (Mexican mother, Indian father). My cousin said he also is.

I reminded him that his mother is Indian. He said that because my father took him in, my mother is his mother so he’s Mexican too as we are siblings. This is what upset me because my mother has been dead since I was 6 and he never met her so I don’t think he has the right to call her his mother.

He said she is still his mother and I said no she is not and that he wasn’t my brother, he is my cousin. He said that was selfish and I can’t just have her for myself. I explained if she was alive I’d be happy to have him call her his mother, but she is not alive and she only had two children (me and my younger brother) so he can not claim her.

I’d been fine with it up until that moment.

He thinks I should accept him as my brother. I think I’m justified in not wanting to call him my brother after this. My friends agree that he could still have said he’s my brother without claiming my mother. My life changed since he came into my life and he is seen as the responsible older cousin now even though I was the one who basically raised the rest of my cousins.

He is only seen as responsible because he’s the eldest, he hasn’t earned that title as he never put in any effort.

I might just be getting jealous over nothing which is why I wanted to ask here. Am I the jerk?”


32. AITJ For Being Mad At My Dad For Yelling At Us And Embarrassing Us In Front Of My Birthday Guests?

“So yesterday, it was my (13 F) birthday party. The house was dirty so me and my siblings and Mum spent the whole day cleaning and cooking. Dad sat on the recliner and watched TV, which was pretty unusual but I just figured he was tired.

Before the guests came, he got mad at us for stupid reasons (one of them was calling for one of us but we were too busy vacuuming so we didn’t hear him). The guests arrived and we were hanging out in my bedroom, we were being loud and rambunctious like always. So apparently, Dad was calling us and we didn’t hear him, even the guests.

We went out for dinner and Dad just singled me and my siblings out and just yelled at us in front of everyone. He was saying stuff like ‘You ignore me even though you can hear me’.

It made me sad, this wasn’t the first time that this happened. He was yelling at me for something I didn’t do, in front of guests (some of them younger and look up to us).

So I just went to the room and started crying because that was too much.

Mum came to me and asked if I was upset so I told her. She went outside, took my dad aside, and apparently she told him that I was crying because of him. He went inside and coldly told me to go back to the room and ‘pretend to be a normal person when I’m done bawling’.

The rest of the day I was just put in a stink mood and was hardly able to enjoy my own party. Every time he caught my eye, he’d pull a face ‘imitating’ me. I just ignored him but privately told Mum later.

She was surprised and told me she thought he had apologized to me.

She added that he was the one in the wrong and I shouldn’t be apologizing for anything.

This morning, he just treated me coldly all the time. He was going to prepare breakfast for whoever didn’t have breakfast. After he asked my 3 other siblings, I said that I’d already had breakfast. He replied saying ‘I won’t even talk to you because you’d start crying.’

They’re still eating breakfast as I’m typing this because I feel super offended by what he did. AITJ? If not, then what do I do?”


31. AITJ For Putting My Sister At Risk Of Losing Her Kids' Custody?

“I babysit for my sister. She has three kids (all younger than 8) and her house is always extremely filthy. I babysat at her house for a couple of weeks and the entire time the kids didn’t bathe once, they had no clean clothes, their hair was extremely matted and lice-infested, and the house was extremely dirty.

There was dirty laundry covering most of the floor and what floor you could walk on was caked in something sticky. I’m suspecting it’s spilled soda that accumulates over time but it was so bad that your feet stick to the ground and you have to fight to pull your feet back up.

Because of this, I wore shoes in the house. Honestly, if it was just the house dirty but the kids were obviously taken care of I wouldn’t have said anything to her ex.

I offered to help her with bathing, laundry, and cleaning but she told me no, her house her rules. Their divorce was very messy.

She had an affair and lied to our family saying he was beating her every day but he wasn’t. He was heartbroken by the divorce and most of our family genuinely felt bad for what happened. Since she doesn’t allow him near her house, he picked up their kids at my house. He said his younger kids kept telling him awful things about the house and that my sister was locking herself in her bedroom with her partner for hours screaming and ignoring the kids.

The younger kids also told me this story. Anytime I see the kids when he has custody of them, they are extremely clean and well taken care of but when my sister has them it’s the total opposite. He asked me some questions like kid 1 says the house looks like this, did you notice it too?

or kid 2 says she can’t sleep in her bed because it’s covered in ants and they have to sleep on a couch instead. He asked multiple things and I defended what was wrong but what was right I didn’t say yes or no. Well he asked my parents the same things and they found out I said yes to everything although I technically didn’t.

I am being called a jerk because my sister might lose her kids if he uses this in court. My parents also said don’t be surprised if my sister cuts me off and doesn’t let me see the kids anymore. I feel bad but I think my sister should take care of her kids if she wants custody.

If I were her ex I’d want to know what’s up too. AITJ?”


30. AITJ For Declining My Sister's Invitation For Her Graduation?

“I (19 m) have always looked up to my older sister (24 f), but she had always had it out for me from the moment I was born.

My sister had always wanted to be an only child, and when the news of her going to have a younger brother finally reached her, it didn’t sit quite well with her.

It was usually just her picking on me from the moment I was a kid, but when I turned 13, things had gotten a lot worse.

It would go from her randomly picking on me for no reason whatsoever, to her just outright insulting my looks, my weight, etc.

She would call me ugly whenever we were going out as a family, she would insult my weight whenever we were at the dinner table, and I would take food on my plate, and whenever I would have a friend over, she would always make sure to humiliate me in front of them in any way possible.

I would always tell my parents about the way she had been treating me, but they would always give me excuses, like she was on her period, or something along those lines.

I remember almost every night, I would cry myself to sleep, thinking how she was right about how ugly I was, or how fat I was.

This had been going on for years, until I reached my 17th birthday, and she had suddenly decided to treat me as though I was an actual human being for once. She stopped picking on me ever since and had actually started treating me with respect. Two years pass, and it’s her college graduation ceremony.

She was extremely ecstatic and invited all of us to her graduation, but I declined, and she got upset and went upstairs to her room. My parents told me I was a jerk for declining, and told me how she was finally putting in effort to fix our relationship, trying to put everything beside her for once, but I just couldn’t forget all those years she had tormented me, and how many nights I would sob myself to sleep because of her.

I would always contemplate going outside as a teen, because of how she treated me.

My parents have been giving me the silent treatment ever since, but I don’t know what I did wrong,

I asked a couple of friends whether or not I was a jerk for not going to her graduation, but I’m getting mixed answers, So I’m just gonna ask here.

Am I the jerk?”


29. AITJ For Telling My Wife Not To Make A Big Deal Out Of My Mom Not Wanting Her To Eat Sweets?

“We currently live with my mom and are saving up to get out, but we had some huge setbacks and she was our only option.

My mom and my wife do not get along at all. My mom did imply she was fat one time while wedding dress shopping and I lost my mind on her.

I’m talking she was almost uninvited to the wedding.

My mom and I got into a fight 3 months ago and she hasn’t spoken to me since. She told us to figure out our own food and we weren’t to touch anything she cooked. This applies to both of us. Honestly, it is hard because we don’t feel comfortable in her kitchen and we do get a bit jealous because their food is amazing, but we have been figuring it out.

My stepsister and her partner visited the other day and my mom ordered everyone food from a fancy steakhouse except for us. I know my wife was mad about that and I totally get it. My mom has been baking a bit more recently and making things for her husband. She made fudge and some amazing-looking cake and encouraged his mom to take some home because they weren’t going to finish it, and even then she wouldn’t let us touch it.

The final straw was yesterday when my mom saw my wife eating some crackers and yelled that she paid for those crackers and to get away from them. My wife came to me in tears and said my mom was fat shaming her. I said I didn’t feel that she was because I’m not allowed to eat either.

I said my mom was just not speaking to us due to the fight. My wife argued that purposely bringing sweets around and offering them to everyone but her is fat-shaming, but I said my mom is allowed to eat what she wants and is currently ignoring us, so I really don’t think it is about weight.

Now my wife is mad at me

ETA about the fight. On my mom’s birthday, she had people over and I came home and was going to go straight to my room. My aunt gave me an attitude about I should stay and socialize. I asked my mom if that was what she wanted and she said no. She said she had previously asked if I could spend time with them sometimes without my wife and I refused (I’m talking about times when she has her husband and everyone else has someone) so she doesn’t want to spend any special occasions with me again.

I muttered that she is such a jerk and she said she now sees why everyone pressured her to not keep the baby (me) I told her that she chose to keep me so she isn’t a victim and no one feels bad for her, and she started yelling about how if she could have predicted this she wouldn’t have kept me.”


28. AITJ For Telling People How My Dad And Stepmother Treated Me Terribly?

“I am 20 currently, but my parents divorced when I was 11 and my dad re-married to ‘Lauren’ less than a year later.

Lauren already had a baby, Cora.

Lauren was nice before they married, but after she and my dad got married she made it clear that she didn’t want me in the picture and saw me as an obstacle to her ‘perfect’ family.

They would almost always force me to babysit Cora. Oftentimes they would promise I could go see my friends or do something, then I would be forced to cancel last minute because they wanted to go out and needed someone to watch Cora.

When they did spend time with Cora, I was almost always excluded. An example was how I was told to check in on my grandma (which I didn’t mind, as I love her) and help her with chores.

I discovered after returning home that my dad, Lauren, and Cora went to an amusement park without me.

Lauren claimed she wanted ‘family-only’ on the trip. My dad did not say anything. This is one of the countless examples when I was excluded and my dad never stood up for me.

At 16, I chose to live with my mom full-time and stop coming to my dad and Lauren’s house. Things are going well.

I have a job and am able to stay in the area because my college is online. (Not because of the global crisis – I chose an online program before any of that happened.)

I and a few of my friends were out for dinner when we bumped into Jacob, who was the son of two of my dad’s friends.

He and his parents were always nice to me, so we spent most of dinner talking together. Jacob brought up that he was sad that he didn’t get to see me as often after the courts had forced me away from my dad’s home.

It turns out my dad and Lauren told people how my ‘evul mudder (ridiculous, but also Jacob never met my mom and only knew her from my dad’s stories) manipulated the courts’ and had their custody completely ‘stolen’ and that’s why I didn’t live with them anymore.

I told Jacob I chose to leave. I named some of the times I was excluded; How Lauren wanted ‘family-only time’ without me and my dad never stood up for me. Jacob was shocked, but we managed to re-direct the conversation and it was still a good night.

It turns out Jacob told his parents, who told their friend group (including almost all the neighbors) about how my dad and Lauren treated me.

Now their friends are excluding my dad and Lauren. They found a new phone to get past me blocking them, and are saying I need to ‘talk about this with them’ and ‘We know you’re a good daughter and will help end these rumors about your family.’

Some relatives are saying I should help them since now Cora is being excluded by her former friends and is extremely upset about it.

These relatives are saying that I’m an adult and Cora is a child so she should come first. I agree with putting children first, and I feel bad for Cora since it isn’t her fault. But I still feel she’s not my responsibility. AITJ?”


27. AITJ For Not Wanting To Accept My Fiancé's Mom's Engagement Gift?

“I (26 f) and my fiancé (31 m) recently got engaged. We have been renting an apartment together and eventually want to get a house or a condo to own and have space to start a family.

When we announced our engagement to our parents, his mom let us know she had been looking for property by her house and as a gift was willing to go 50% on a down payment with us.

Normally I think people would be thrilled, however, his mom has a habit of being extremely controlling, and when we started going out she was paying for half his rent and used that as an excuse to ‘check on him’ randomly.

She also bought his car without even asking his opinion even though she put it in his name, it’s a big deal because once again she uses that as a reason to always ask where he’s going and she’s also made it clear if I need to use his car I have to ask HER for permission.

There are other little things she’s done such as buying a coffee maker for us (without asking) then making judging comments if she sees me buy coffee outside, etc.

At dinner, I smiled and told her that was very kind and that we would think about it but that I wasn’t sure we could accept, which cause a bit of a scene because she wanted to know why I wouldn’t accept it gratefully.

I told her that it was a large gift to accept with no strings attached and I had to think about it and I wasn’t sure I wanted to move into her neighborhood. My fiancé told me I was being rude and embarrassed her in front of my parents. My parents support me but also said I shouldn’t brush off these opportunities since they can’t help me nearly as much in a financial sense even if they wanted to.

I’ve discussed the issues with my fiancé and he assured me if we let her help we will set firm boundaries but that I should apologize for not responding more gracefully in the moment, but I’m still nervous and feel like handled the situation ok in the moment.”


26. AITJ For Punishing My Son By Grounding Him Even After He Apologized To His Brother?

“I (37 M) have four kids, (16 M, 14 M, 10 F, 8 M) only the three youngest are shared with my current wife, my oldest is from a previous relationship with my ex.

Our separation was rocky and a mess, we split when my son was 2, my ex was furious because I had an affair (I know it was bad) so she did everything possible to hurt me and she knew keeping me from my son was a way to kill me, men are barely given full custody here and among some accusations (fake ones) I was only ordered to pay child support.

For 12 years I didn’t see my son not even once, she regulated the access I had to my son (the court was aware of this) and she never allowed me, she moved several times, didn’t give my son the letters I sent him, didn’t let talk over the phone, etc.

We reconnected 2 years ago because he made her life miserable by insisting to meet me, He always thought I abandoned him and had a lot of abandonment issues, but we have a good relationship now.

Thank heavens things have changed a lot and women are no longer seen (at least not as 14 years ago) as the infallible, unerring parent who has to have the children full time, so I went to court back and asked to have him, my son seconded my request because his mom and stepdad neglected him.

My son started spending weekends in the beginning to adjust, everything went well, my kids got along well with their big brother, and it was ok, my son started living full-time with me 4 months ago.

The incident happened 2 days ago, my son didn’t have our lifestyle so now he sees everything we have, and is a little entitled to everything, the therapist says it’s normal behavior for a child who had abandonment issues and is adjusting to a new situation, he’ll eventually get over it and we are working on it.

I told my kids that everything I possess is theirs so my 16-year-old says, ‘If it’s my dad’s then it’s mine’. He says this every time, and my wife says that he has to ask to grab food from the fridge, use my laptop, etc (we apply that rule on all our kids)

My 16-year-old (Noah) and 14-year-old (Liam) were fighting over the TV, Liam had already used it for four hours and Noah invited a friend to play some video games, but Liam was refusing to let him use it (even if he could go to my bedroom to watch there), So Noah said: ‘This is as mine as it is yours’ so Liam replied: ‘No, it’s not, I have more rights since my dad picked us over you’.

Noah just told him to get lost and went to his room, Noah refused to talk to me and even today he just speaks the bare minimum. So I decided to ground Liam and make him apologize to Noah, Liam will not be allowed to watch TV, have his phone, go to swimming classes, go out with his friends, or invite them to come for one week, even after he apologized.

My wife says I’m a jerk because Liam is also a child who is adjusting to having his brother full time, and she also says that grounding him like this, it’s a way to show that I’m favoring Noah.”


25. AITJ For Getting Married Two Weeks Before My Fiancée's Sister's Wedding?

“My fiancee has a step-sister he grew up with. we’ll call her C, and she’s been with her now-fiancee for 7 years. I have been with my fiancee for 4ish.

Apparently, my man was planning to propose last August around my birthday, and he went to his parents’ house to tell them. C and her man were there so they found out too. TWO DAYS later, C’s man proposes. this made my fiancee feel weird about proposing right away so he waited until December when my dad would be in town.

My fiancee and I think his sister probably got mad and was like ‘They’ve been together 3 years and he’s proposing what’s taking you so long it’s been 7!?’ C’s man also did not tell her family at all or ask for her hand in marriage which makes me feel like it was a rush decision (I know that’s not a big deal nowadays but in his family it is, his stepdad is really bummed about it.

He didn’t even have to ask but at least let the family know even if it was a text or call).

Well anyway, when she told me the news obviously I said how excited I was for her and I told her about the Halloween wedding I helped my best friend plan and I’d love to help her with anything.

That got us on the topic of dream weddings and I expressed mine would be on or around Halloween with a dark spooky vibe. (I didn’t know about anything so I had NO idea my own proposal was coming)

After that convo everything was fine, my man proposed in December. December 9th to be exact.

I instantly started planning he and I knew what we wanted already so I hopped right on it getting vendors for this October. I booked 3 big vendors and reserved my venue, and began my save the dates before Christmas time.

Come the first week of January we get her invite for 2 weeks after what is supposed to be our wedding date of 10/30.

I talked to my man and he said there shouldn’t be an issue since the only people attending both weddings would be his mom and stepdad (C’s father) because C is not close with the rest of his family.

C hasn’t said anything to us directly but my future in-laws have expressed that C is upset we chose a date so close to hers, and she will not be attending ours because she will have too much going on getting ready for her own wedding.

Honestly, I don’t mind that she’s not attending. I and C are not close, and my fiancee is not close with her either. They had a really troubled past and just tolerate each other at best, if they have a few drinks they may get along for 1 evening.

I genuinely want to know if I am the jerk in this situation, should I have waited a whole year for my October wedding and just let her have 2022?

or is his family being dramatic? Am I reading too much into it? I genuinely feel like she was just trying to beat me to everything. LOL.”


24. AITJ For Lecturing My Brother's Significant Other About Her Being Spoiled And Entitled?

“When I (27 M) was home, I told my little brother (19 M) he could live with me during the summer IF he got a summer internship in the city.

He got one and was super pumped to come. I was excited too until I got a call saying he’d told his significant other (19 F) she could stay with us too. She has no internship. At the time he was just like ‘I know it was dumb, but, I can’t go back on it’ and he assured me she’d be sweet and chill.

I was just like sure, because I didn’t want these 2 breaking up over something stupid like this.

Well, they’ve been here for 2 weeks and I’ve yet to see the sweet or chill. I go into my office, my brother goes to his thing, she’s just in my apartment, and complains about everything from the square footage to the view to the closet space.

A few nights ago, while my brother was out getting his hair cut, the signal for the TV got all screwy for about 10 minutes, and rather than do the things I taught her to do if this were to happen if it was only her at home. She decided that yelling and tossing the remote hard at the table was the answer.

I asked what the problem was, she just said my TV was crap. I asked her what the fix is for when the signal is spotty. She said she didn’t remember and demanded I fix it.

I took it as a good opportunity that she should learn to be a little nicer to people and not be so spoiled and entitled. She said she wasn’t looking for a lecture, didn’t appreciate my ‘being a jerk’ to her, and just wanted a TV.

I got the TV working again. My brother says she feels as though what I said was unfair. I told him I think she was toying with him.

AITJ?”


23. AITJ For Kicking An Uninvited Girl Out Of A Concert Pregame At My House?

“I (26 M) recently moved back to my hometown after working a job a few hours away. So growing up I was part of a large and close friend group that I am still a part of today.

I moved back about 6 months ago and have been loving it. So I’m a ginger and have always gotten some jokes here and there about it. But most of my friends don’t really say anything.

The one exception growing up was this girl named Ella (26 F). She was relentless about my hair growing up.

She would touch my hair and act like I burned her. She would ‘roast’ things above my head whenever I wasn’t paying attention. Would make up names and ask if the ‘curtains matched drapes’. She was in the friend group and had a pool so unfortunately I was stuck being around her. I would stand up to her and call her names back but she was a typical popular girl who nobody would check on her crap.

Thankfully we went to colleges far away from each other and have seen each other a handful of times since HS. Well after moving back I’ve unfortunately been forced to be around her again. And while she doesn’t make as many jokes as she used to. Every now and then she will mention my hair.

I brought a date to a friend group hangout and she asked the girl if she ‘has ever seen my ginger fiery temper’ before. This just made me mad and I remembered it.

So this past weekend our friend group decided to go to a concert. My house was the closest to the venue so I asked to host a giant pregame.

I decided that I didn’t want my night to be ruined by the presence of Ella so I purposefully left her off the invite group text. Well as everyone showed up, sure enough, Ella walked on in. I quickly asked to speak to her outside and said ‘Hey so as you know with my hair, it’s a fire hazard to have too many people in the house at once.

You should probably find somewhere else to pregame so it is safe’. She laughed and thought I was kidding. Until I told her I wasn’t and she wasn’t invited inside my house. She started getting upset and tried apologizing but I told her to save it and she can just meet us at the concert.

Well, this caused a big thing and two of our friends left with her and called me rude on the way out. All my guy friends thought it was funny and backed me up because they knew how Ella was to me back in HS. But Ella’s close friends are upset with me as are some of the other girls in the group.

We all met up at the concert eventually and me/Ella ignored each other the whole night. I don’t think I did anything wrong. I left her off the invite, and she showed. I privately asked her to leave. But some are still calling me a jerk. AITJ?”


22. AITJ For Kicking My Sister Out Of Family Dinner Because Of What She Said About Our Brother's Loss?

“My brother ‘Fred’ and his wife ‘Sarah’, are not very financially stable, so it was a bit of a surprise for my sister, ‘Katie’, and me when they announced that they were pregnant. However, we kept it to ourselves.

A few months ago, Katie planned a family trip. Brother and SIL decided to opt out as they were cutting costs for the baby.

At this, Mom and Dad decided to cancel the trip altogether and have another one later, since Mom’s health wasn’t too great either. This greatly irked Katie as she was really looking forward to this trip and made some very unsubtle remarks that Fred and Sarah shouldn’t be having children if they don’t have money.

This very clearly upset both of them.

Unfortunately, due to several complications, the baby was stillborn. It has been a month, and my brother and SIL are understandably still devastated. Especially my SIL’s mental health is not very well as of now.

Yesterday, I hosted a little family dinner at my home, with my sister, brother, SIL, and our parents.

Sometime before dinner, SIL went to the bathroom, and meanwhile, my husband asked Fred if she was doing well. Before Fred could reply, Katie jumped in and said, ‘Well, though the loss is very sad, think of this as a good thing. At least you don’t have to worry about finances anymore. As I said, you shouldn’t be bringing kids into this world unless you are sure you can provide for them.’

Fred went red-faced and said that they WOULD have been able to provide for their child. They may not have the budget for extra luxuries, but they would do everything for their child. He was almost crying and purple with anger, so I quickly dragged Katie away to the kitchen and demanded what had possessed her to say something so insensitive.

She got incredibly defensive and said that she had made a very practical observation and she was 100% correct. It was better to see straight than be clouded by emotions. By that time, Sarah had come out of the bathroom and was shocked to see Fred in tears. She kept on getting hysterical and asking what was wrong.

I knew that Katie’s presence would ruin things further, and I asked her to get out. She looked incredibly hurt and angry but went out anyway.

Fortunately, our parents were late and didn’t have to see the whole spectacle. When they came home and found out what had happened, they were shocked and upset at Katie too, but Mom thinks that perhaps I shouldn’t have kicked Katie out like this.

AITJ?

ETA: For some more clarity, Katie is 24, so she ought to have enough maturity to know what to say.”


21. AITJ For Informing My Teacher About My Medical Condition That Causes My Bathroom Habits?

“I’m (18 F) in senior year. I have a condition where my reproductive system is tilted back extremely far, it causes a lot of issues for me, the primary one being frequent UTIs that are caused very easily (such as having to hold it for too long, eating a lot of spicy food, etc.).

This also means that a lot of the time, either I don’t need to pee or I need to go RIGHT THEN otherwise I’m in extreme discomfort and could get a UTI.

Now onto the story, I got to class after lunch a little early so I could put my books down and use the bathroom in the building, but when I walked in my teacher is already waiting (we’ll call her Ms. T), I tell her that I’m gonna go to the bathroom before the rest of the class gets there, she tells me that I should have gone at lunch and to sit down.

Frankly, Ms. T is insufferable at the best of times, but especially when you disagree with her, so I just sit down and figure that I’ll ask her again in about 10 minutes because it wasn’t that bad yet.

Keep in mind, Ms. T knows about my condition, I’ve had her for a class almost every school year since I was 13 (this developed when I was 14-15).

I get distracted by my work and about a half hour goes by when it starts getting unbearable. I ask again and she stops the whole class to lecture us about how we should go before class, the class turns and looks at me once she’s done and I just feel mortified. She says that unless we have a medical condition, we should be able to hold it.

She then tells me to go, but she doesn’t want to hear me ask to use the bathroom again in her class because I’m not a child. Lo and behold, it feels like I’m peeing razor blades and my bladder is aching for the rest of the day.

I ask to talk to her after class and tell her that I do have a medical condition and that we’ve discussed this before, I figured she had just forgotten.

She rolls her eyes and asks what that would be, so I tell her, warning her that it’s a little personal beforehand, but I’m open about it.

Ms. T stops me mid-sentence and says that she didn’t need to hear about that and that I’d violated her. She said that she was not my doctor and doesn’t need to know about my bathroom habits.

I got an email from my student coordinator asking to have a meeting with me, apparently, I made Ms. T extremely uncomfortable and I owe her an apology. I’m going to apologize to her in class today, to keep the peace if nothing else, but I’m not too sure what I did wrong, she did directly ask me.

AITJ?”


20. AITJ For Turning Down My Half-Sister's Job Application For Our Restaurant?

“My mom passed when I was 4. I have two older brothers who were 6 and 7 when she passed. Our dad remarried just after my 9th birthday and had two children with his second wife. My brothers and I are 28, 30, and 31 now. And my half-sister recently turned 15. My brothers and I work with our mom’s parents. She set up a restaurant with them before she had us, and our grandparents have told us we’ll be the owners eventually.

As it is we make decisions like owners.

My half-sister is obsessed with being a chef. She watches all the cooking shows and wants to be famous. Recently, she has started asking if she can work at the restaurant and start to get to know the family business. She said she’d love to take over as head chef one day and her mom could be head waitress.

My brothers told her she was getting way too carried away. But she got all excited. She ended up talking to our dad about working for us, he said he was okay with it as long as we were.

We’re not. What it comes down to is this is a business our mom started with her parents for us to take over someday.

For our family. And none of us believe she would want our dad’s second wife or our half-siblings who are nothing to her working there, and taking such a huge place in it. We know our grandparents aren’t comfortable with it either.

I’m the most gentle out of us three, so I told her that she couldn’t work for us.

I encouraged her to find somewhere else to work instead. She asked me why and I told her it was a decision made by those of us who owned/ran the business. She asked me how it could be a family business if we don’t allow family to work there. Then said how her mom should have been asked a long time ago.

I told her that wouldn’t make sense since her mom isn’t related to my grandparents, the owners, and that ultimately, it’s my mom’s legacy for her children and how we’re trying to honor that. She said it was dumb and how my mom would feel when she can’t even speak about it.

My dad and his wife are so mad we turned her down.

They said she is OUR family and that should be what matters. It also brought some bitterness up about Dad’s wife not being offered a place at the restaurant years ago. Seems there’s some weirdness because Dad had worked alongside Mom and my grandparents for a while when they were first married.

AITJ?

ETA: A lot of it revolves around money and legalities.

When my dad got remarried his wife approached my grandparents and told them she wanted to adopt me and my brothers, and how she and my dad wanted her to be the one to take control of any funds that were meant to go to us including savings my mom left my grandparents in control of.

She told them she was going to be our mom now and she would be taking over finances for the family. That she needed to know everything we had and wanted access to it.

When my brothers and I said no to being adopted, she and Dad approached my grandparents about having a conversation with us.

And brought up the fact they had done any of the other stuff asked. She told them she was not comfortable with our photo being in the restaurant and said they needed to take it down (it was a photo of us with our mom and grandparents) because they were the parents now.

The tone was set from there.

And I suspect they must have asked to work in the business with the clear resentment they have that they weren’t employed there a long time ago. Can’t confirm it. But it was clearly expected my grandparents would ask dad and his wife to work there.”


19. AITJ For Snapping At My Mom For Commenting On My Food?

“My mom does this thing where she likes to make me feel gross when I’m trying to eat.

She’ll come to show me something gross, talk about something gross, or show me pictures that are disgusting. It’s a pattern and she constantly does it when I’m trying to eat. Today I was eating avocado toast and she came into my room and said ‘Something smells rotten!’ when I asked her to please stop because I was trying to eat.

Mind you there is no bad smell in my room, it’s clean and there’s no food or any trash from food in my room.

She continues to tell me that ‘It smells like rotten food’. I asked her to stop because I was trying to eat and she was grossing me out. She refused and told me she was just saying something that was true.

I asked her why she kept doing this to me and she gave no answer I finally told her to shut up about it and she dramatically ran to her room and said ‘Don’t talk to me’ like she was about to cry. I continued to say ‘I didn’t even want to talk to you.

I was minding my business and trying to eat and you came in here and decided to bully me’. and she yells ‘Don’t talk to me!’ and starts crying.

Mind you I have a rocky relationship with food. I’ve had restrictive eating disorders in the past and my mother never used to do this until I became confident with eating what I want and eating enough to be healthy.

She is obsessed with my body and is always telling me I need to eat a certain way but when I eat that way she tells me that I need to eat more and that she’s jealous of me. I feel like crying because all I wanted to do was eat my dinner and mind my business but she always has to run into my room to start something.

She has this obsession with me that I don’t understand and she tells me that I’m her ‘hobby’ like bothering me and torturing me is fun for her. I don’t know what to do. I lost my appetite. I feel bad for making her cry. I never tell her to shut up or anything like that so I feel bad for upsetting her.”


18. AITJ For Being Mad At My Father-In-Law For Causing Us To Miss Our Son's Reaction To Seeing The Slide We Got For Him?

“A couple of weeks ago it was our son’s 3rd birthday and we had a party at our house.

Now our in-laws are very generous. To the point where we’ve had to ask that they stop buying our son toys, because a) we have nowhere to store them, and b) it makes us buying him Christmas and birthday gifts really difficult. We don’t earn a lot and we can’t keep up with them.

This birthday we banded together.

We all put in and got him a climbing frame and slide.

His birthday rolls around and we’ve managed to build this thing and keep it hidden from him. The moment our in-laws arrived, FIL was trying to take him into the garden. I asked that he waited until my mum arrived as she’d bought him a sandpit that was out there too and we all want to see his reaction to everything.

He kept insisting our son wanted to go outside, but he was happily playing with his new cars so I said leave him.

Mum arrived twenty minutes later (she drove across the country, leaving at 6 in the morning) and she just wanted to nip to the toilet before we all went outside. We were all talking and stuff while she went, and when she got back she asked where our son was.

He was gone, so was FIL and the back door was open. By the time we got out there, he was already at the far end and had been down the slide. We all missed his entire reaction, but FIL was grinning at how happy he was.

I left it at the time. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but the other day FIL asked if Son was getting good use out of the slide THEY got for him.

I reminded him that WE also got him that slide and thanks to him we missed seeing him go on it for the first time. We can’t afford to get him something that special again for a while, and he took that moment from us.

He said I told him to wait until my mum arrived and he did.

He says he did nothing wrong and my son was desperate to get outside so he took him. That I have no right to be mad as I get to see him go on it every day.

My husband is on my side, but his family thinks I’m being petty about it.”


17. AITJ For Not Believing In Christianity?

“I’m (27 F) living halfway across the country from my family right now because I’m in grad school.

Today I was FaceTiming with some of my family because we’ll try to talk every two weeks or so.

My dad asked what my plans were this weekend and I said I wasn’t really sure since it was only Monday. He then asked, ‘No dinner plans for Easter then?’ I said no, and that I didn’t even know Easter was this weekend. He said, ‘Well, you never know, something might pop up with people in your program.’ I said, ‘I doubt it, none of us celebrate Easter.’

This seemed to upset both of my parents – my mom said, ‘Well, you always celebrated Easter with us!’ to which I replied, ‘Yeah, because I was a kid, what’s your point?’ My dad then complained that they spent a lot putting me through weekly Catholic education so I could get confirmed (think Sunday School except it was Tuesday evenings).

I said, ‘I never asked you to do that, that’s really not my problem.’

What’s weird is that my parents aren’t even super religious. I can count on one hand the number of times we went to church when I was a kid. They were just very insistent that my sister and I got confirmed. I haven’t been to church for anything besides a funeral since my confirmation mass.

I just never believed in Christianity, even when I was a kid. I dreaded going to church and the weekly religious education. When I reminded my parents of this, they said I was trying to deliberately upset them. I assured them that wasn’t the case, but they said there was no other reason why I’d make such a big deal out of it.

My sister later said she understood my point, but that I just came across like an anti-religion ‘edge lord’ and I should have just let things be to keep the peace with my parents.

So, AITJ?”


16. AITJ For Not Wanting To Live With A Guy?

“I rent my apartment from a company and they lease per room (3 bedrooms). When I first moved I was given the option of female-only, male-only, or co-ed living. I selected female-only.

Fast forward almost a year, and one of my female roommates (B) is moving out in July.

A (other roommate) wants to have her guy friend move in, she’s known him for 4 years and considers him her best friend. She asked me two weeks ago about it I told her no. I’m not comfortable with it, due to some past things that I don’t have to explain, and I told her politely that I’m not comfortable with it but she can totally transfer with him if she wants.

She just responded with ‘Nah I totally understand not wanting to live with a guy’.

Today she asked me if we could sit down ‘as adults and talk about something for a minute’. Then it got into me being asked why I didn’t want him to move in. I explained that I have things about my past that make it uncomfortable for me to live with men.

She said ‘I’m going to be honest, I don’t care about that’ then I explained again.

She then said ‘You expect me to be okay with you just bringing him over, but you’ve only known him for 9 months versus my best friend I’ve known for 4 years?’ (Response to my partner)

I responded ‘We’ve been going out seriously for a year and a half, and he only visits on weekends. It seems like this wasn’t an issue until I said no to your guy roommate moving in, and now you’re bringing up my partner being here’ and she continues with ‘It would be fine if it was just the weekend but there are times where he’s here for 5 days at a time’ to which I said ‘That’s not happening, he works Monday through Friday’ and then she said ‘No I know because I kept a tally because it was annoying me’.

A. Freaking. Tally. Chart.

My partner doesn’t use anything in the common space and doesn’t leave my room.

I said ‘Fine. He just won’t come over then’ and she responded ‘I don’t want to keep you guys apart’ and I’m like ‘No, you do, or else this wouldn’t have been brought up.

He’s only here 2 times a month, Friday-Sunday but I’ll just drive up to him Saturday and down Sunday’.

Then she goes on to ‘Well since you picked up a job, I’m not comfortable with him being here alone’ which is completely asinine, and here’s why:

He gets off work on Friday night, drives down to my place three hours away, so 5 pm, goes home, leaves his place by 6 pm, drives down three hours, and sleeps in the parking lot until I’m off work (4 pm-10:00 pm)

Then on Saturday he and I are here, and my roommate leaves to work (2 pm-11 pm) and I’m at work (4 pm-10 pm) SHE NEVER SEES HIM and she never knew until today when I brought it up that it’s been like this for months.

She then offers to pay for my rent if I transferred across the hall, or she’s considering just moving him in.

I told her she can move in with her guy friend if she really wants to, annddddd she said she’s lived here the longest so I should move.

AITJ?”


15. AITJ For Making My Mother Feel Terrible For How She Raised Us?

“I’m (29 F) taking care of my mother (59 F). My younger siblings are still studying at uni. I’m the eldest as well as the only one with a stable income.

I’m also helping to pay for most of the bills. My father died when I was 6, and my mother never remarried & worked hard to support all of her children. She’s retired & wants to spend her remaining years with her friends and family. She lives with me.

My relationship with my mother is tenuous.

She raised me to be strong, & was very strict with me.

Let me preface by saying this, I will never blame her for working as hard as she did, because I recognized that her work was to support everyone, & that it was her way of showing love, by making sure that everyone had all their basic needs met.

I understand that even more now that I’m a working adult too.

Now that she’s no longer working, she can finally be present in our lives. She’s trying to be around this time, taking plenty of pictures and videos. I know that this is her trying to make up for lost time, but at the same time, I feel jealous, seeing my siblings getting the gentler treatment and more love than the indifference that I got.

I did not even get any verbal congratulations for all of my achievements. No pictures, no videos. And yet my siblings got it all. It’s not my siblings’ fault, it’s just my mother trying to be a mother and being terrible at it. It’s such a shallow thing to get angry about, but even knowing this, I’m still so angry.

So I’ve started being honest about my emotions and past experiences at home. I asked if she told my sister that she was worthless when my sister had her breakdowns. When she bought gifts for my siblings. I said, ‘Shame we don’t have pictures of me in the album,’ one time when I was browsing albums with her.

I made sure to only say these things when it’s just the two of us around. My siblings were not at fault, they don’t need to see me being hateful. It’s just with my mom that I kept saying little things like this.

I haven’t returned home in nearly two weeks, just staying at hotels & going to work, after an argument with my mother where she finally had enough of my words.

She said I’m not her daughter because no children of hers would ever make her feel terrible after everything she’s sacrificed for us. So I just left my house and told her she can bring whoever she wants to keep her company because I’m not coming home anymore, & that I’ll still give her money so she doesn’t have to worry about bills.

Everyone blowing up my phone now, saying I should apologize. My siblings understand but they think I was too harsh with my words. I don’t want to, because I think I’m not in the wrong for airing my grievances. But now that I have some time to self-reflect, perhaps I was too harsh with my words.

I’m quite used to people being harsh with me so don’t hold back. AITJ for wanting my mother to feel regret?”


14. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go On Another Trip With My Friends Who Can't Afford The Things I Want To Do?

“I have 2 really good friends that I love but it makes me uncomfortable to be with them anytime money is involved.

We recently went on an unexpected trip to visit friend A (unexpected because friend B bought non-refundable plane tickets when we were just discussing the trip in theory & then begged us to go along with it).

During the trip, I found out that A barely had any money when we arrived (she didn’t get paid until after we would leave). And it just made the whole trip have this air of awkwardness as it had been pre-planned and had a lot of activities that weren’t free. We ended up skipping the majority of them.

At some point, I also got angry at A (kept it to myself though) as she would buy unnecessary things here and there (that would add up to a good amount of $) but then say she had no $. She took us out to a restaurant one day and after we finished eating she asked me if I could cover her part of the bill.

Now I would have had no issue whatsoever doing that… if she didn’t buy things before and after we ate out.

In the case of friend B, she’s a stay-at-home mom and her husband doesn’t make much. She never said that she had issues with finances at the time but I found out a couple of weeks after the trip that they are barely scraping by.

Which makes me assume that the trip did some damage to them financially.

Currently friends A and B are talking about doing another trip at the end of the year and I want no part of it. Not only do I feel guilty about going when I know they still won’t be any better off in their finances, but honestly I don’t think I’ll have a good time.

I know that we won’t end up doing what was planned because of the same reasons as earlier and to me it ends up feeling like a waste. I earn a good amount so when I go on a vacation I want to get my money’s worth. I feel like I can’t do that with them because they can’t afford (even if they don’t admit to it) the things I want to do.

And while we don’t live near each other, I talk to these friends almost daily and we always have a good time. It’s not necessary for me at least, to have to go somewhere physically. AITJ?”


13. AITJ For Evicting My Sister And Causing Her To Live In A Shelter?

“I (40 F) have been a widow for 4 years and have 3 minor children.

My wife left me as the owner of her 4 rental homes. Due to health problems (scoliosis and knees), I resigned from my last job and my main source of income is housing (I do design freelance to complement).

With the funds I got from my wife’s inheritance, I decided to buy a better house for me to live with my kids and renovate the (empty) rental houses to increase the rent. I also bought another house for rent as well. My family lives well, it’s not just luxury, but they live well, but the rent income that is left over goes to my family’s medical problems (my son has a vision problem that the health insurance doctor is not specialized in, as well as my doctor).

That said, for almost 2 years I have been renting one of my houses to my sister, Camila (not her real name), and getting a discount for being a family member (she only pays 70% of the price). But just like I do with all people who pay rent, if you are 3 rent late, you will be evicted.

My sister 8 months ago was fired (just cause) from a job (so she doesn’t receive some unemployment benefits) and has been going through a very tight financial situation, since my nephew’s father disappeared from the map when he found out he had a son. And in the last 7 months, Camila has not been paying the rent and some house bills too, and this charge has come to me.

Despite the discount, this rent is important for the income of the house, I tried to be understanding, and I increased my freelance jobs to compensate for this rent. Due to the amount of time I sat, my back pain got so much worse and there were countless times I had injections in my back to get to sleep.

I sent warning letters, I texted, I spoke in person and she just made excuses. Until it was 3 months late, I gave an eviction order with 30 days of tolerance and warned her by message (she ignored it).

After several notifications from the bailiff, I called the police and Camila was forced to leave the house.

Since then, she has been living in a shelter, but will move in with my parents (I offered to pay for the move and ticket, but she declined. I also offered housing for my nephew, but she also declined).

I’m being called horrible things by my parents and uncles, saying I left my sister and nephew homeless.

That I had an inheritance from my wife (I invested in the houses) and I lived well, so it was selfish of me.

I think I’m on my right.

AITJ?”


12. AITJ For Not Having Respect For My Mom?

“I (15 F) have been in foster care for almost 3 years.

I see my mother (41 F) every week on Wednesdays for a visit that includes all of my siblings. About 6 months ago court declared that reunification would be terminated. However, visits were kept in place on both my mother and father’s side. Most of my siblings have different fathers and we’re all separated. I’m very close to my father, and although he did some… uncomfortable things to me in the past, he’s grown to be better and sorry.

My mother has grown too. She did illegal stuff when she fell into a slump. My old stepdad was abusive so her ‘slumps’ happened pretty often. From 9-12, I would cook, clean, and take care of all my younger siblings (I call them little ones). My mom would be gone for days on end doing… whatever.

And one day her friends were staying over for a few days and got into a fight. Words were exchanged and damage to the house was done. My neighbors heard and called CPS. They had been called in the past many times but my mom got a heads up so she made the house and her children spotless.

However this time, she wasn’t home. She wasn’t going to be home. But the moment the police and social worker came by they had already declared we would become foster children.

For almost two and a half years my mom tried to win us back but fell back into her lies and addiction. And now she won’t get us back.

I don’t blame her sorrow, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with her.

Recently at a visit, it was just me and we were talking. Normally you’re not supposed to talk about court but our supervisor was pretty chill. She mentioned it was unfair they terminated reunification so soon. I argued they gave her more than three chances which was more than enough.

She said her trauma and tendencies aren’t her fault. I told her it was her fault and she should have recovered from trauma before having ten kids. She got angry and we argued for a while before she yelled at me, ‘You don’t speak to me that way, I raised you.’ I snapped and yelled back, ‘You did nothing for me other than bring me into misery.

Why should I respect you?’ And our supervisor ended the visit. She left angry and I left guilty (and angry).

My dad said I overreacted and I should apologize. My brother said he understands where I’m coming from but I should’ve held my tongue.

My two older sisters said I was in the right and I should just give my mom a few days to cool off.

I feel like a complete jerk but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t apologize.

Am I really the jerk?”


11. AITJ For Telling My Underweight Sister I Won't Be Taking Advice For Her?

“My (15 f) sister (Eve, 18 f) used to deal with a severe eating disorder which left her extremely underweight. She’s not fully recovered yet, however, she has become healthier since going to therapy. Keep in mind through the whole thing I was nothing less than supportive and I tried my best to help her in any way I could.

I’ve personally never struggled with any major insecurities, however, my body has been undergoing a lot of changes due to stress from school and other areas of my life, and because of this I’ve begun binge eating, which has in turn affected my weight. My parents have been trying to save for some therapy, however, they’ve not brought the topic up again and I don’t want to bother them asking.

So the incident happened yesterday. I was making myself some food (as usual, adding much more than what I should eat) and my sister came in to make her food. The whole time I could see her looking at me with some sort of disgusted look, and after a while, it got really annoying and I asked if she wanted something.

She told me she doesn’t think I should be eating that much food because it’s already showing and if I don’t stop soon I’m gonna regret it. I was shocked because it has always been a rule not to comment on each other’s bodies, and I guess I snapped because I said I’m not going to be taking advice from someone who hasn’t even sorted through their eating disorder yet and is still underweight.

She started crying and my parents came in and I explained what happened. My mum began yelling at me that I was insensitive and Eve was just trying to help in her own way, however, my dad said that Eve shouldn’t have been commenting on my body anyway and he could see why I would react like that.

There’s been a little tension since because Eve has refused to come out of her room and my mum is blaming me for possibly making Eve relapse completely. I find it totally unfair though because I feel like she’s putting Eve’s mental health before mine. AITJ?”


10. AITJ For Cutting Off My Stepkids And Not Giving Them The Funds I Saved For Them?

“I started a new relationship soon after my separation with my ex-wife (now happily divorced).

I had 2 children aged 5 and 4 when I started a new relationship and my partner had 2 children from her previous relationship aged 4 and 3. It was great. We spent time together, all kids, all 6 of us would go on holidays, spend weekends together, etc. I soon moved into her house in South London

In a few years, my ex stole the children and left with someone else to another country where they are still, so I left living in the UK, working in London, and living together with my new partner and her 2 children.

I started going to see my children every 2 weeks to spend time with them and at the same time make sure that my children are taken care of financially, physically, and emotionally.

Now, my children are 17 and 16 and my partner’s kids are 16 and 15. Over the last 7 years or so, my salary got to the point where I was able to save up for each child in a savings account for them so when they all turn 18, I can give them about £8500 that was saved for them.

Over the last 5 years, though, my partner’s children have been treating me extremely horribly (hormones? their own father being a jerk? stress at school? who knows). My partner gave up on trying to tell them not to treat me this way some time ago, so my relationship with her children is quite cold at the moment and has been like that for about 5 years.

While this is all happening, my contribution to the household is about 6x more than my partner and it seems that I am the only one who is paying for stuff, house repairs, holidays, bills, etc, so all financial pressure is on me. All this while supporting everyone financially and spending a lot on traveling to see my kids every 3 weeks now to spend time with them.

Throughout my life with my partner, I always participated in my stepkids’ school activities, theatre plays, sports, travels, homework, etc, and always looked for a way to create a better relationship with them. I’ve tried many many times to solve this problem, but I don’t see this happening without my partner’s help and she is not interested in that.

While this is happening, I continued to save about £100/month/child so there is a sizable sum there now for each one of them.

A few weeks ago I told my partner that I am not going to give her children anything that I saved for them, which started a huge row with her saying that I only look after my kids and that I never cared for hers, to begin with.

Many horrible things were said from both sides and I’m not going to pretend that I kept cool, but I stood my ground and told her that I didn’t their behavior, words, and actions warranted me treating them like they deserved it. I think that if my kids were treating me like they treat me, I wouldn’t give them anything either, but she doesn’t believe me.

Am I really that horrible to cut them off for being horrible to me for years?”


9. AITJ For Telling My Sister-In-Law She Shouldn't Be Using My Daughter's Stuff Without Permission?

“My husband and I went to school together, and his sister ‘Mary’ was a few years above us. Mary was a horrible bully who practically ran the school and made life miserable for a lot of girls. It was serious enough that my husband later told me that their parents had to pay teachers and the victim’s parents a huge amount to keep quiet.

Mary has done quite well for herself since school. She owns a quite big insurance firm which makes her a lot of money. She isn’t a particularly nice person now but I’ve always tolerated her for my husband’s sake.

Mary came by yesterday to speak to my husband about something. She is very stylish and is always dressed in that immaculate chic style.

She wore heels, but as always took them off at our door because we have a shoes-off rule.

We have a 15-year-old daughter, ‘Anna,’ who is also going through a fashion phase. When Mary was starting to head off we saw her in the hallway trying on Mary’s designer heels. Mary demanded she remove them and Anna immediately did and said sorry.

I told Anna she shouldn’t try on people’s things without asking but Mary said a lot more. She started shouting ‘Who do you think you are?’ and berated Anna for a good few minutes, including saying Anna ‘shouldn’t touch what she couldn’t afford’. Anna burst into tears and ran upstairs.

What Anna did was not right, but Mary did not need to cruelly berate her to tears like that.

I said to Mary that what she said was disgusting and that she obviously hasn’t changed since the days she tormented people at school. Mary put her shoes back on and left.

My husband said the school comment was too far. I don’t think it was. I understand why Mary was so angry. She’s always been very protective over her precious clothes and those shoes were not cheap at all.

But even so, Anna took them off immediately and apologized. She used a teenage girl’s silliness as an excuse to bully and intimidate her. She is a disgusting person and I’m sick of my husband making excuses for her.

AITJ?”


8. AITJ For Telling My Brother-In-Law He Isn't A Man And Never Will Be?

“I (23 f) married my husband (25 M) in 2020. We have been together for a total of 8 years.

Last year my husband and I had to move in with his parents and his brother (22 M) because our landlord decided to sell the home we were living in and we couldn’t find anything but now we’re in the process of building our home.

Last week, I got off a 12-hour shift around 2 pm as a nurse and came home and showered, and started laundry as I was heading back to my room my BIL told me that I needed to clean the kitchen, bathroom, and cook him food.

I was taken aback since I don’t really ever use the kitchen, I hardly ever cook at the house and I had cleaned the bathroom the week prior and it wasn’t dirty. I told him no and went to my room and turned on my favorite show.

BIL barged into the room and told me once again I needed to clean the kitchen, make him food, and clean the bathroom.

I again told him no and closed the door and locked it this time, I texted my husband and my husband said just to ignore him. Well BIL knocks on the door and tells me I’m lazy and that a woman’s job is to do what a man says and cook and clean.

I told him that he isn’t a man and never will be since he doesn’t have a job, license, or go to school and does plan on it so he has no room to tell me anything. He told me I was a jerk and he told his parents when they got home from work what I said but left out the parts he told me.

MIL AND FIL are telling me I need to apologize to him because he’s ‘going through a rough patch’ and that I should’ve just made him food and picked up a bit, I refuse to apologize. My husband has told his parents that there’s no need for me to apologize and that his brother should be the one apologizing to me since we are the ones paying all the bills while we live in the house and that he should be grateful to me.

So am I the jerk?”


7. AITJ For Ending Our Friendship By Calling My Friend "Shorty"?

“I (19 F) have been friends with this guy, Kevin, for 4 years now.

We met in high school, and he got assimilated into my already existing group.

All throughout high school, Kevin cracked a lot of jokes at my expense. I had put on a lot of weight back then, due to stress and other factors, and this resulted in constant fat jokes. I can’t really put the jokes on here, because they were in my mother tongue so they won’t really properly translate to English.

But they were pretty offensive, and what made it worse is that all my other friends laughed at his jokes. I kind of put up with these jokes, because I was kind of lonely during high school and I didn’t want to lose my friends. This only encouraged him, and at this point, I feel like I’m less of a friend and more of a long-running joke in my group.

Yesterday when he was over, he started with the fat jokes. And he knows I’m very insecure about my body. I told him that I wasn’t okay with such jokes and that it hurt me. He claimed I was being oversensitive, and that I should take things lightly. I still told him to stop with the jokes, to which he agreed. However, he still cracked another one later (which he attributed to being an ‘old habit’).

This severely made me mad.

Later that day, a friend put up pics of us in our group chat. Kevin was wearing shorts in these pictures, an attire he isn’t too fond of taking pictures in. I was feeling rather petty that day and wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. So I called him a ‘shorty’ (that’s supposed to be a pun because he is short, around 5’6, and was wearing shorts).

He has told me before that he has always been insecure about height, so I did that deliberately, I admit.

He completely went OFF on me after that joke. He kept spamming ‘fatty’ ‘indecisive drama queen’ and such words on the group, so I left it, saying that I needed time to cool down. Then he messaged me privately, saying I’m an insecure fat person.

I blocked him immediately to stop myself from engaging. Then he messages me on Instagram that I bullied him by calling him short even after he apologized for his jokes. I told him that he had constantly been cracking jokes at my expense for 3 years. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror at one point in my life.

To that, he told me that I’m a hypocrite because I put up with crap that a partner had put me through, but I couldn’t forgive him for merely joking. He kept rehashing this point over and over again, though it was completely unrelated to the issue at hand. It also made me think that he was implying that if I dealt with bad treatment from one person, I should take it from all.

It made me feel super upset, and I blocked him everywhere else, thus ending the friendship.

One of my friends from this group is telling me I overreacted and should apologize to Kevin because I unnecessarily caused drama. AITJ for ending the friendship over this?”


6. AITJ For Giving My Nephew A Birthday Gift Instead Of Giving His Parents Money For A New Deck?

“My (33 F) nephew just turned one. My SIL (Hannah, 34) and BIL (Dave, 34) are dual-income and doing alright. They’re firmly middle class. They own a home and go on a couple of vacations a year. They decided to host a big party for their first and only child’s first birthday.

A little background – my husband and I are kind of known for getting good birthday gifts for our nieces and nephews. They range in age from 1-13 and we know that the other 2 families struggle more financially than Hannah and Dave (who this post is about). So, we have historically always asked what their child would like and gone out of our way to get them something special. I’m not talking big ticket items like an iPad, but like, $150-200 for each gift, each year.

I asked Hannah what her son (William) would like that he doesn’t already have at home. She didn’t answer my text. Later in the day, she sends a mass email to both sides of the family and friends who are attending William’s first birthday. This was the email:

‘Hi friends and family,

We look forward to having you at William’s first birthday.

Some of you are asking what you can buy for him. What he really needs is a new deck to play on in our backyard. Therefore, we ask that everyone donate funds towards that goal, rather than physical gifts. The deck will cost a total of $10,000 and we anticipate that 35 of you will be attending.

Please give as you’re able. William will be so excited by this addition to his outdoor space.

Love, Hannah, Dave, and William.’

So, off the bat, this request sat weirdly with me. I understand shifting towards experience-based gifts over physical gifts. I see the environmental argument for that and also the human element… but that’s not what this was.

It was a deck and I’m fairly certain Hannah and Dave can afford this deck without a fundraiser.

Anyway, the part that may make me a jerk is that I decided to totally disregard the email and spent $200 on a new train table for William. I noticed that he fell in love with the one at our house that our boys have.

I justified it because he’s too young to realize that his parents are tricking him out of gifts, as I see it.

Hannah noticed the large box at the party among a pile of cards filled with money. She asked who brought it and my husband (her brother) said ‘We did.’ She said ‘I specifically sent an email after getting your text.

Did you not read it?’ Husband told her to take it up with me. Later on, she told me she was really frustrated and disappointed in me because she expected we would be contributing the most to the deck, as we have more money than the other family members. I said we wanted to get something just for William.

Hannah scowled and told the rest of the family that I was using her son’s birthday to grandstand and make them look bad. The rest of the family is split on it. So, AITJ?”


5. AITJ For Calling Out My Wife For Meddling With Her Best Friend's Marriage?

“My (30 M) wife Mica (27 F) has a best friend Lauren (27 F).

They’ve been best friends since they were young kids. Lauren is married to Sam (27 M) and they have two young kids together. While I don’t know them as well as Mica, I’ve met them plenty of times and we get together to hang out once in a while too.

I’ve been hearing from Mica that Sam and Lauren have been going through some pretty bad marital problems for at least the last few months.

Mica and Lauren have been talking on the phone in the evenings and Mica has been kept up to date about what’s going on. From what I can tell, they’ve been pretty mean and nasty to one another, and it’s possible they might be getting a separation or even a divorce. They’re even looking into going to a marriage counselor.

Yesterday, Mica was super upset and called Sam on his phone to yell at him and tell him how much of a piece of work he was. It didn’t last long, as Sam quickly hung up on her. I ended up confronting Mica and was like ‘Whoa, why would you do that?!’ Mica was insisting she had to do it and let Sam know the truth.

Literally the next day, Lauren texts Mica and tells her that she can’t be friends with her anymore. Mica shows me the text and is livid. She starts saying that she’s mad at Lauren for turning her away after she supported her and that she can’t believe she’s siding with ‘that jerk.’

I told her that I wasn’t surprised at all that Lauren decided to end the friendship.

Mica was saying that she expected more out of Lauren, especially since they’d known each other for such a long time.

This is when I told her that she’s too old for the whole ‘chicks before men’ thing, and definitely doesn’t apply to married people who have kids together.

Now Mica is calling me a jerk and that I’m siding with ‘that jerk.’ I don’t think I’m taking any sides here, but I want to know what the internet thinks if you don’t mind!”


4. AITJ For Being Offended By My Partner's Criticism Of My Cooking?

My partner (29 m) and I (24 f) have been together for over two years, and we live together. We’ve been snowed in for three days, and I didn’t want to make a run to the store today. So I made a traditional Mexican dish with some chicken from the freezer and some veggies and spices we had on hand.

I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I’m generally a pretty great cook, and most people who have had my food agree.

So I make this dish, something my grandma used to make all the time, and I think it tastes pretty good. My partner comes over to have a taste and, I kid you not, goes ‘this tastes like dirt.’ So I walk over and have another sip of the broth, and it really tastes fine.

I’m super confused and ask what they think I should do to fix it. No suggestions. Ok, whatever.

So I let it simmer a while longer, maybe it’s just raw spice they’re tasting, but this is bugging me because earlier today I made a coffee cake which they also had nothing to say about except ‘my mom makes a better one, this is too dense’ (???).

I mention how weird it is that it tastes like dirt and wonder aloud how I can fix it, and they get frustrated and lash out at me, going ‘I must just be making it up then, it’s fine, I’ll eat it.’

And then we went back and forth for a second before I tell them they shouldn’t eat what I made then, and to just order food.

Which they did. But now they’re making a big stink about how I can’t ‘take criticism’, and I’m wondering if maybe I am being the jerk and a brat for not just accepting the criticism.

INFO: this is something I’ve made before, and they’ve really liked it before, it just somehow ‘tastes like dirt’ today.

I probably cook at least 5/7 days of the week and they never complain about the food. I take a lot of pride in my cooking, and I will admit that I can be a little sensitive. Generally, though, I accept constructive criticism (ex. needs salt, add acid, over/undercooked, etc) ‘when I ask for it’.”


3. AITJ For Saying It's Not My Fault My Brother Isn't As Popular As Me?

“I (15 m) am very popular at school while my twin brother (15 m) thinks he is also popular so he tries to do everything I do even hanging out with me and my friends just to say he’s with the popular kids anyway my friends all turned 16 over the summer and since most of my friends are female a lot of them had sweet 16s which I was invited to

Anyway while I was getting dressed for one of these parties my brother comes walking into my room also dressed up I ask him what he was doing and he said he was waiting for me so we can leave for the party. I tell him that it’s invite only and he wasn’t invited so he can’t come.

For an hour while I wait for my significant other to arrive he makes a big deal about how I always get invited to parties and he never gets to go anywhere I tell him to suck it up and stop complaining because there’s a reason why he’s never invited that’s when my SO arrives and I leave for the party.

After the party I get home around 10 or 11 and my parents and brother are sitting on the couch obviously waiting for me. I ask what’s up and they tell me that I need to start bringing my brother places or I won’t get to go I tell them that they invite me and me only because my friends don’t like my brother because he’s annoying and just trying to be like me, my mom asks what I mean and I tell them that since we started freshman year my brother has been copying what I do even hanging out with my friends instead of making his own, my brother tells my parents that I’m obviously lying so I can leave and they tell me that until my brother gets an invite I can’t go to any more parties so I obviously get upset and in my anger, I shout, ‘Well it’s not my fault your a social reject and a mooch’.

Then I storm upstairs to my room the next morning everyone in my family gave me a death stare and wouldn’t talk to me

So AITJ?”


2. AITJ For Wearing A Casual Attire To A Wedding?

“I’m a photographer. About half a year ago, a couple booked my ‘informal party’ package for their event. It’s my cheapest package, with my most expensive one being my wedding package. They were kinda dodgy about what kind of party it was, which was strange, but money is money, so I agreed.

The event was a couple of weeks ago.

As I pull up to the venue, lo and behold people are there in suits and dresses, and there’s wedding decor everywhere. Oh boy. So I get in, and the bride and her mother intercept me. They immediately start ranting and berating me about how unprofessional I am for not being two hours early, and for wearing a polo shirt and cargo shorts to a wedding.

I basically told them that they would stop taking that tone with me or I’d leave. Two bridesmaids intervene and basically herd the two women away from me and try to talk them down, while a third one takes over giving me trouble for how I showed up, but the ceremony was about to start so she left.

At this point, I was mad, but then again I already drove there and I wasn’t told to leave, so I decided to stick through with it. A few more people approached me to give me crap, but I told them to f off and I’d only take criticism from the people footing my bill, i.e. the groom and bride.

The couple apparently decided that having any photos at all was worth ignoring me, and the only person who coordinated throughout the event was the groom’s father, who managed to act civil.

Now I’m done editing and contacted the clients with my bill, but they and some of their friends have contacted me asking for a discount because of how inappropriate I was.

I don’t see their point, but my fiancee suggested I could give them some symbolic victory like 5% off, because they may not have been able to afford my full wedding package. So, AITJ?”


1. AITJ For Asking My Dad If We Can Use My College Fund For My Wedding?

“So when I was 9 my mom and dad got divorced. My dad is the one that got a divorce since he wasn’t happy with his marriage. Soon my dad remarried Ashley when I was twelve. When I was younger I was 100 percent on my mom’s side and was an awful teenager. My dad tried to get me in therapy and I had to go when I was with him but my mom wouldn’t take me to therapy.

At the time I didn’t realize my mom was poisoning me against my father. I was awful to him and his new wife. When I was growing up my brother, Ben, who was 2 years older tried to tell me but I didn’t see it and our relationship was bad also.

When I was 17 and over at my dad’s place.

I got into an argument with Ashley since I wasn’t doing my chores. I was so angry after the argument that I destroyed one of the last things my dad had of his fathers. It was an antique watch, that was priceless to him. My dad found out and lost it, he was so angry that he said he will not pay for my college until I apologize properly and actually try at therapy.

I refused, took loans instead, and went no contact.

It wasn’t until I was at college and away from my mom that I realized how awful I was. I used the free therapy there and had a lot of issues to sort out. It wasn’t until I was out of college, that I worked up the courage to talk to my dad again.

Our relationship was rocky at first and it has gotten better over time. I am now 28 and am going to get married.

I asked my dad today if he was willing to use my college fund that I didn’t get to fund the wedding. He looked straight at me and said no. I was shocked because I thought our relationship was better now and the money was going to be mine before everything happened. He said that the funds were for college only and I wasted that chance a long time ago.

That I only started talking to him again after I graduated. I soon left.

I talked to my brother and he called me a jerk for even asking.

Edit – I am a girl and I reconnect with my dad when I was 23. So a year after I got out of college.”


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